It’s time for the next King’s CROWNing Authors (Cajoling Random Observations Now) interview. Please welcome, Tatum Flynn.
1. You have to create your own writing lair, please describe it to me using only sound words.
AHHHHH (sinking into writing chair). BZZZZZZ (robot butler bringing breakfast). SLURP (mainlining coffee). SKRITCH SKRITCH (cat at door). SIGH. MIAOW. AHHHHH. SILENCE (staring at blank page). TWEET. PHEW (opens Twitter). COO COO (ongoing war with pigeons recommences). BANG (gun provides lull in battle). AHHHH. MIAOW. SKRITCH SKRITCH (cat wants to go out). SIGH. <REPEAT AD NAUSEAM>
2. Is there ever a nice way to tell some one to be quite quiet?
Yes. But what fun is that? Maltesers make excellent projectiles against people who talk through films.
3. Do you have any writing pets?
Friday actually writes all my books. It’s why tuna is mentioned in my contracts. Don’t tell anyone.
4. To hit the hay is to…
Cruelty against crops will get you nowhere. I recommend plenty of irrigation and a gentle talking-to.
5. My dog hyperventilates when visitors come over, would reading your book to her help?
I’m not entirely sure a book set in Hell would be *calming*, exactly. But she might find confidence-building role models in the woxes – half wolf, half fox – who are extremely fierce. It’s worth a shot.
6. What should I name my pet dragon? He’s not real. Well, he’s not real yet. But in most good books the thing becomes real once named.
Well, I think that’s quite dragonist – you can’t just go around naming creatures without getting to know them first, you know. #Notalldragons are the same. Is he a forlorn, bookish type? Perhaps Basil. Or a rampaging, earth-scorching terror of the skies? Try Calamitor, Peril of the North. Or perhaps a small blue dragon who enjoys Bach and makes an excellent creme brulee? Maybe he’s a Mr Fanshaw.
8. If I say – frozen yogurt with English breakfast tea then you’d say –
Please continue with your peculiar jentacular choice, while I plump for Chunky Monkey and a chilled latte.
9. Please write a tongue twister about Twitter.
The witterers who witter on Twitter will nonetheless make you titter with their Twitter wit.
10. What does space mean to you? Answer must be in third person POV.
Tatum Flynn does not like to think about space. Thinking about space reminds her that we are a bunch of tiny bipeds alone in the known universe stuck on a watery rock flying at unsafe speeds around a giant burning star that would toast us for breakfast if we got too close. Flynn prefers to think about kittens and bourbon and quite frankly even the ineluctable obliqueness of royalty payments than space.
About Tatum Flynn
Tatum Flynnlives by the sea in England with a cat called Friday and too many hats. She has a soft spot for the
word ‘ramshackle’, and a vagabond past which involves piloting lifeboats in Venezuela, playing poker in Las Vegas, shooting rapids in the Grand Canyon and almost falling out of a plane over Scotland. Her debut, THE D’EVIL DIARIES, will be out from Orchard/Hachette on the 2nd April 2015, with a sequel, Hell’s Belles, to follow January 2016.
Bad influence. THE D’EVIL DIARIES out 2nd April (Orchard/Hachette Kids), sequel Jan 2016. Totally not an evil cat trying to take over the world.