King’s CROWNing Authors with Simon P. Clark

It’s (not) Monday and we have our scheduled King’s CROWNing Authors (Cajoling Random Observations Now) interview. Please welcome, Simon P. Clark.

And here we go:

1. Do you know how to play chess? Explain answer in one sentence.

I know the rules of chess, which is not really the same as knowing how to play chess (though my use of distraction techniques and downright dirty cheating helps to level the playing field.*)

2. ‘Never have I ever…’ is an American game where someone say something that they may or may not have done and all playing must drink a shot if they have done this thing. Why? Just why?

Last time I tried to play this game – which was also the first time I tried to play this game – I got confused about the rules and said two things I’d done, then just drank my beer. Pretty sure I won. The answer, then, is that you Americans just aren’t trying hard enough.

3. Will you be making your Christmas dinner this year?

It says a lot that I’m answering these questions only now, once Christmas is past.

4. Go-to writing exercise?

Short stories. Flash fiction. Prompts from Twitter strangers. Stolen moments of conversation in a crowded train station. The fleeting feeling of panic when you get your finger caught in something.

5. Could our guardian angels just be aliens trying to communicate with us? Answer in three and a half words.

What about FOUR words?

6. Have you ever been to Eirn?

Gosh, that takes me back. Was I ever so young? Were we? Oh, Giselle. Paris, just after the war. She wore yellow, and she laughed at my jokes. I was foolish – the young are, of course – and I told her too much, and the silence filled up with everything she never said. Eirn. Even now, across the years, I hear the name and … no. No, I can’t. I’m sorry.

7. Could you light a fire without a firelighter?

Could you stop me if you really needed to?

8. Abstract or traditional painting?

(6_6)

9. Dish – what’s your favorite reality tv show?

Cut Throat Kitchen. It’s a roller coaster of emotion from start to finish.

10. You just got a job as a tv producer. You decide to produce a reality tv show. what will it be about?

A cooking show where the chefs have one hour to make whatever meal has been set, but they’re allowed to cheat as much as they want – including sabotage, switching spices, turning off ovens, stealing things etc – as long as they don’t get caught. This would be so exciting.

*Pro tip: Always play chess on a field. That way you can use high winds as an excuse to topple your foe’s queen.**

** How good is the word ‘foe’? I’m going to use it more.

And we’re done! Thanks for letting me take part in this. Great questions. I am 100% serious about that reality TV show idea. It was be amazing and everyone would watch it.

Thank you, Simon, brilliant, witty, and interesting answers.

About Simon P. Clark

Official Bio:

Simon P. Clark is a children’s author living and working in NJ, USA. Originally from Britain, his debut novel Eren was published in the UK by Constable & Robinson in September 2014, and will be published in the US by St Martin’s Press in June 2015.

Simon is represented by Molly Ker Hawn of The Bent Agency.

Funner Bio:

Hello, there. The above is true – I’m a British writer now living in the U.S. I moved to Japan after I left university, and while there met my (American) wife.

I haven’t always been an avid reader, but I made up for lost time by deciding I wanted to be an author when I was about thirteen. Since then, a lot has changed, but that dream – of writing stories and sharing them – hasn’t died. Next year my debut novel will be published and I am rather excited about the whole thing.

Some favourite authors: