It’s Halloween, so as a surprise and a treat I have a very special interview for you today in the King’s C.R.O.W.N.ing Authors (Cajoling Random Observations Now) interview series. Please welcome, Andrew Smith.
Andrew Smith , we are waiting for your wonderful answers.
(sorry about the formatting, I tried to space it out neatly, but it would not take. And now I am sad. Bunched up sentences make messy eye fodder.)
1. If you had to graffiti one letter in the Hollywood hills sign what letter would it be, and what would you draw on it?
Also, I had no canned apology prepared for her in case this all turned out to be real.
2.Did you know that Margaret Thatcher only needed 4 hours sleep a night, would you be able to survive on that? (answer in one and a half sentences)
“I have microwave popcorn.”
NOOOO!!!!!
3. Snoop Dogg says, ‘with my mind on my money and my money on my mind.’ Write the next line? (I need to check your street cred.)
And the television said, “The worst crime you could possibly commit with a scallop is overcooking it.”
4. Apparently garlic keeps monsters at bay, any advice on keeping Halloween safe?
It was probably Sun Tzu, or someone who lived a hell of a long time ago and wrote philosophical texts on how to go into battle, who most likely included in Chapter Fucking One: Never go to war with a monster, prepared for a pillow fight.
5. Have you ever autographed a body part? (and yes, the spine of a book counts.)
Number Nine, undeniably terrifying, involved motorized household appliances.
6. How is Halloween celebrated in CA?
Now scorpion-curry foodie dude was drinking beer, at sunrise, and eating something brothy in a bowl. And there was an actual chicken head in the bowl.
7. Did you know that us Irish invented Halloween?
Did you know that Americans invented Ireland? Also, we invented lying about all the shit we invent.
8. Would you rather write with an ostrich feather or a chewed up leaky fountain pen? Back up your answer.
“She sounds like a man.”
“If I close my eyes, I picture a young Ernest Borgnine,” I confirmed.
9. If I say Taytos would you know what I am talking about?
I had never been naked in front of a girl in my life. Well, except for my mom. But I never wanted to think about that again.
10. What would you do if you got locked into a bookstore?
“What we have here,” he began, “is a singular effort—an outstanding example—of what is called aPantoum. Fine work, young man!”
Pantoum. I wanted to shoot myself.
The End
About Smith
Well. Lost for words over here. Yes, the questions are always weird, some are even unanswerable, but these answers…well, they are like marbles in one’s mouth asking for a side of caviar.
Andrew Smith, here is your crown.
Andrew Smith is The Author of fabulous books, ones that we all need in our lives. He is a native-born Californian who spent most of his formative years traveling the world. His university studies focused on Political Science, Journalism, and Literature (and awesomeness, I suspect!)
Smith is The Author of Grasshopper Jungle, Losing it, The Marbury Lens , Passenger , Ghost Medicine , Stick , In the Path of Falling Objects, Winger, 100 Sideways Miles, and THE ALEX CROW (coming March, 2015). The New York Times calls GRASSHOPPER JUNGLE “a literary joy to behold.” Winner of the 2014 Boston Globe-Horn Book Award.
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Michelle Moloney King 
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