It’s Monday and we have our latest King’s C.R.O.W.N.ing Authors (Cajoling Random Observations Now) interview with, Irish YA author, Louise O’Neil.

How many of our American cousins know this; there is a section of south Ireland that is its own republic? Yeah, it’s the Republic of West Cork. And that’s where this weeks YA author hails from, please welcome Louise O’Neill. You have the questions and now we are waiting for your answers.

1. List one word for that start with the letters E, Z, W, O, C, and B. Now make a sentence with those words.

Elephant, Zodiac, Water, Over, Country, Brain.

Every night, Jamie the Elephant watched the stars of the Zodiac dancing over the water; his brain contorting them into a haphazard country of fairytales.

2. If Kerry needs to be in Tipperary by nightfall and she still hasn’t seen the updated bus timetable where will she find out the correct bus time?

Find the nearest grifter, and follow him into the darkness of night. He’ll know what to do. Unless he kills you and wears your skin as a coat. Then she’ll probably just wish you had googled the updated bus timetable, won’t she? Get a smart phone, Kerry, you complete dumbass.

3. I say – candle stick, you say – Three Men in a tub.

4. I say – NYC, you say – A cacophony, energy fizzing through my veins, coming alive again.

5. You have just had your hair done for a special night in, It’s raining and your dog needs to be taken out to pee before bobos (bedtime in dog lingo) what will you do?

Wonder aloud why on earth I would get my hair done for a special night in. If no one is there to see your perfectly styled hair, was it ever really styled in the first place? #Buddha #Jesus #SomeoneReallyWiseAndShit

6. Think of: a washing powder, a toilet manufacturer, a famous pet’s name, a continent, a county, an illness, and a bug. Now write a curse using all of them.

Ariel. Armitage Shanks. (How do I know that?) Toto. Australia. Kerry.Ebola. Gastroenteritis.

You complete fucking Toto, you WISH you looked like Ariel from the Little Mermaid. You should emigrate to Australia, where you’ll probably pretend you’re from Cork when we all know you’re REALLY from the Hellhole of Ireland – Kerry. I wish upon you a lifetime of Ebola, only relived by occasional bouts of gastroenteritis so virulent that you need to be within 50 feet of an Armitage Shanks company at all times.

 

That was a bit shit, wasn’t it? I need to brush up on my Wiccan.

7. Is hate too strong a word? Explain in one sentence. The best revenge is a life lived well.

8. Name a yoga posture? Eka Pada Rajakapotasana – Pigeon Pose.

9. Zebra is to stripes as pooh bear is to –  Christopher Robin. Honey. A fat belly. I DON’T KNOW, WHAT IS THE ANSWER?

1. What makes you smile? Re-watching Heathers, when my mother texts me ‘OMG’, my dog yawning, and whenever I remember the time a friend of mine thought a light switch was an installation at a modern art gallery.

Will you please join me in a slow clap* for Louise O’Neil. (*That’s an eighties movie reference, for our younger readers!) We got some very funny answers here and I’m sure all reading this LOLed. (When is one too old to say LOL?)

Louise is represented by  Capel & Land, her debut Only Ever Yours (published by Quercus Kids) is a a YA novel described as ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ meets Mean Girls.  After moving from NYC back to Cork she decided to follow her dream and put pen to paper and write a book. She gave herself a deadline of one year, and stuck to it. The end result was five agents fighting to represent her!

This interview went very well, I loved and laughed at your answers. It behooves me to crown you, Louise O’Neill.

Links

Keep up to date with her edgy blog, follow her start conversation on Twitter.

Thank you, Louise.

Next up we will be having, in no particular order: Leigh Bardugo, Sally Nicholls, Kieran Fanning, Eoin Colfer, Katy Moran, and many more.

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To read more: Darren Shan, Meg Rosoff, Leigh Bardugo, Brenna Yovanoff and Andrew Smith. Or a Halloween themed ss.